


Miscommunication

by Sildominarin



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awesome Leia Organa, Everyone Loves Poe Dameron, Father-Son Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Kes Dameron is a good father, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 02:54:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6266668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sildominarin/pseuds/Sildominarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Poe Dameron does not return from his mission on Jaku, Leia is faced with the crushing task of informing his father. But no one should underestimate a Resistance pilot, and all of this nonsense is going to give Kes a heart attack one of these days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There is a standard among Resistance fighters, one that is unspoken but well understood. You are missing when you miss two check ins, and when you miss three they notify your family. For the most part it’s the pilots whose ranks suffer the most, and for them that the protocol is made. If you don’t come back at the end of a mission you probably aren’t coming back and that’s the end of that.

It’s a hard reality and General Leia Organa has struggled with it more than once. She signs off on every notification, every transmission that goes out to tell a family that they are no longer complete, that one of the young people who are following her- who believe in her and her cause- has made the ultimate sacrifice. It is always transmissions like that, text that falls short of being much consolation, because she thinks she might break if she has to talk to every grieving family in person. It’s selfish and she knows that there should be another way, but it’s the only task she cannot bring herself to manage.  
Not when it is her own son that is the cause of so many of those transmissions.

But it is early on a chilly morning on D’Qar when she is forced to set aside protocol and standard and her own fear, and request a holocall to an all too familiar destination. She has broken a trust placed in her—she will face that like a general.  
Kes Dameron’s face has grown more careworn over the years, but his eyes are still the same. Leia knows those eyes well, has seen them look upon war and victory and family and loss periodically over the last thirty years. And a part of her feels sick as those same eyes light with pleasure at seeing her, just another contact from an old friend.

“General Organa, this is an unexpected surprise.” She can tell from the light and birdsong that it is nearing evening on Yavin 4, and that Kes’s day is no doubt wrapping up. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

And Maker she wants to lie. To claim nostalgia or tactics or even lonliness—anything would be better than why she is ruining is evening- his life- with this call. But she is the leader of the Resistance, and this is her duty, so Leia takes a steadying breathe and then the plunge.

“Kes, I’m so sorry…Poe is missing.”

And it hurts just as much as she thought it might, watching the joy and light drain out of those eyes and face, and seeing the shock that replaces them.

“No. No, Maker, not…Leia, highness, not Poe…”

It’s been years since anyone has slipped and called her that, and somehow it hurts worse. “I’m so sorry Kes. I should never have let him join up. If I had left him where he was, if I had just--”

“He…” Kes’s voice broke, but he forced it back and tried again. “He would have found you, General. It’s in his blood. He wanted to fly for you, he wanted to…to make a difference.” The last words came out as a choked whisper, and Kes ran an unsteady hand over his face. “You said…missing. Is there a chance his b…the remains can be found?”

“I’ll do my best.” Her people are still sorting out the massacre from Lor San Tekka’s village, but his X-Wing was there—if he died there they’ll find him. “I’ll have him transported home if we do.”

And there is still news, though it is the hardest thing she has ever had to say, to acknowledge. “There is a chance that he may have been taken captive by the First Order, Kes. I can’t afford to mount a rescue with no information, and I don’t know if he is even still alive, but…there’s a chance.”

The bleak look in the man’s eyes reflects her own heavy heart. “I don’t…Those bastards. Those utter…Wasn’t it enough?” There’s pain in the question, a lifetime of it. “Wasn’t it enough that we survived the empire, restored the Republic? Why do our children have to do it all over again?”

It’s rhetorical of course—a cry to the universe driven by grief, but Leia still feels compelled to answer. “Because evil can’t be stamped out without good people, and you and Shara raised your son to oppose that sort of evil.”

There was nothing more she could say, and surely nothing she could offer to give him any measure of condolence. It might have hurt less if he had blamed her, if he had yelled and railed against her and her rebellion. Felt less like she had completely failed him in every respect.

But it was a war, and there were losses. It didn’t matter if those losses rent at her very soul or made her question her resolve. She still had to go on.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Her private sitting room was rarely the ideal spot for post-mission debriefs, but Poe Dameron was dead on his feet and Leia Organa would be dead before she made him sit in a hard plastic Tactics room chair and talk about what had been done to him. Instead she directed him firmly into the embrace of one of the overstuffed arm chairs by the large windows, ignoring his protests about a sand caked everything and places a cup of water in his hand.

It’s drained in an instant, thirst overriding professionalism for a moment, and Leia fills it up again before making sure the pitcher is in reach and settling in the seat across from him. He looks wrung out, more than just the physical exhaustion of crashing and escaping a desert planet, and it breaks Leia’s heart a little to see him like this. He has already given Intel everything he knows and remembers, and they are already hunting for any word on BB-8. But this, his encounter with Kylo Ren and his inside view of the Finalizer is equally important.

It’s a halting, painful conversation for both of them. By the time they’ve broached the topic of Kylo Ren and his…actions Poe is shaking, and Leia is sick to her stomach. Whoever this strange man is he is not the Ben Solo she cradled in her arms all those years ago, and it hurts to even consider that these two people might be the same people.

Where, as a parent and a person, had she gone so wrong?

But it’s not the time for regret. Instead she folds one of the soft blankets Dr. Kalonia had sent over his shoulders, gently taking his long empty water cup and replacing it with a mug of well sugared caf. He was still a little shocky, and shouldn’t even be awake let alone giving a debrief. Leia hated herself a little for making him talk about it when he was so close to shattering, hated that she needed the information so badly. It felt like a deep betrayal, for everything Shara and Kes had given to the…

“Oh kriff, Kes!”

The exclamation came out before she could stop it, and it made Poe- nose buried in the warmth of the caf- glance up at her in surprise and with a small, almost steady smirk.

“Wrong Dameron, but whatever he did I’ll take credit.”

It did her very soul good to hear him joke, but it did not change the scenario. “Poe, when you were missing I—“

He hadn’t become a commander on looks alone, and even exhausted his mind was sharp. “Oh kriff he got the transmission. Oh man, dad…”

He looked even more shaken then before, though hopefully it had pulled his mind away from his time on the Finalizer. On sudden instinct she leaned forward and programmed her holo for Yavin 4, waiting for the clicking and buzzing of the encryption to finish before relay. She heard the pilot make a questioning noise behind her, and turned to give him a small smile.

“Someone should have some good news today.”

Before he could reply the screen flicked to life, and Kes Dameron’s face was again on the screen. He’d aged in the two days since they’d last spoken, grief dulling his eyes and draining the color from his swarthy face. It was clear that he had not been well, which twitched at Leia’s conscience, but it was enough to watch all of it fade into shock, and then overwhelming joy and relief.

“Poe! Oh Gods, Poe!”

In his chair Poe had jerked forward slightly, as though forgetting for a moment that he could not reach through the screen to his father. “Hey dad. Sorry I worried you.”

“Sorry? I’ll show you sorry you little scamp!” But there are tears of joy on Kes’s face, and a sobbing sort of laughter in his voice. “I thought….oh Maker, Poe, I thought you were gone.”

“Me too, Dad. Me too.”

As Poe’s voice breaks Leia silently slips into the other room, settling on the bed until her hands can stop shaking. She is the general, and responsible for each person in the Resistance equally. The fact that one pilot has lived should not be able to fill her with that much joy, that much relief. But she was also human, and capable of such feelings. 

And above all she was honest, honest enough to know that the fact that Poe Dameron was still alive gave her the hope she needed to go back out and wage on one more day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The same scene from Chapter 1, from Poe's point of view. I've also adopted the popular headcanon that Yavin 4's native language is Spanish. Or, you know, the Star Wars equivalant name

_“Because evil can’t be stamped out without good people, and you and Shara raised your son to oppose that sort of evil.”_

 

The holo screen blanked into nothingness, and Kes Dameron hit his knees. It had been, for more than a decade now, his worst nightmare. From the moment his seventeen year old son had taken himself off to the Academy Kes had been resigned to one day getting a call from his commanding officer. That Poe, the bright center of his universe and the only family he had left, had gone the way of his mother before him and been consumed by the empty void of space.

it wasn't that he could blame Poe for wanting to fight. The advance of the First Order had made it all but impossible to ignore what was happening to the galaxy-unless you were the New Republic, apparently- and more than once Kes himself had turned to the box that held his old Pathfinder's uniform and wondered.

But he was retired, and it was a younger man's war besides. Instead he only organized many of the farmers on Yavin 4, and arranged monthly food deliveries to the Resistance through trusted Rebel intermediaries. Somehow the thought of his son being able to keep himself going on good Yavin 4 grown caf beans was a comfort.

Except now Poe would not drink caf, or fly his precious X-wing, or send his dad any more transmissions on dogfights or what new trouble BB-8 was in, or how most of the older Resistance leaders had sent their greetings and it wasn't 'weird that General Organa changed my diapers when I was a baby, right'? Instead he would become a name on an honor wall, an empty fighter and another memorial boulder beneath the Force tree.

Just another hole in Kes's already peppered heart.

 

And the thought broke what little control he had left, leaving Kes Dameron weeping into his hands as the night grew dark around him.

 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was a long few days from there. For all that he tried to keep busy, to keep his mind from the sudden and absolute loss that plagued him, he could never manage it for very long. Every inch of the house was one memory or another, Poe leaping down the last few stairs the the ground floor or learning how to make pancakes in the kitchen, or scrambling up the Force tree to oggle at the view from that height. His son had been such a supernova of joy and energy and light, and somehow the world seemed colder and darker without him in it. 

Enough that Kes struggled to sleep, could not find it in him to eat. Only the knowledge that Poe would blame himself for his father shutting down got the man going again, but even then it was a struggle. He had never hated even the Empire so much as he despised the First Order, for they had put the hope in his head that Poe was truly dead, rather than held captive and tortured to an inevitable end.

But it was the lack of news that bothered him the most, and yet when the holoscreen buzzed with an incoming and highly encrypted call Kes- who had been standing at the window and staring almost vacantly at the barely visible red mass of Yavin- Kes was almost violently ill.  His hand was shaking as he accepted try call, trying not to focus on funeral arrangements or memorial services or just what his precious child might have had to suffer before the end--

And found himself staring uncomprehendingly at a very alive X-wing pilot.

 

"Poe! Oh Gods, Poe!"

 

He looked terrible, bruised and battered and with shadows in his eyes that did not belong. But he was alive, living and breathing and leaning forward like he wanted to step right through the holo screen. Maker knew Kes wanted the same thing.

"Hey Dad. Sorry I scared you."

 

And Kes couldn't help but laugh, even as the joyful tears began to fall. “Sorry? I’ll show you sorry you little scamp!” A chocked breath, as Kes wiped at his face. “I thought….oh Maker, Poe, I thought you were gone.”

"Me too, Dad. Me too."

Out of the corner of his eye Kes watched General Organa silently slip away, which- as the backround was clearly her private quearters- did make the man feel bad. But it was quickly swamped by gratitude-- who knew the next time he'd get a chance to talk to his son, and be assured he was alright.

Which...looking closer, Kes felt his brow furrow. His son did not look...right. "Poe? Buddy, are you--"

Which was about the second that Poe broke down, hiding his head in his hands and sobbing. 

Kes was taken aback, and then immediately terrified. He had not seen his son cry over anything- not even a broken femur when he was thirteen- since Shera's funeral more than two decades previously. Poe was an endlessly optimistic person, and such things seemed to roll off of him. So to have that same boy- man, now- shuddering and sobbing light years away from the hug his father ached to wrap him in... 

"Poe..." At a loss, Kes switched to the Yavin language, and Poe's native tongue. "No llores, mi hijo. Shh, estás a salvo. No llores." _Don't cry, my son. You're safe now. Don't cry._

It took several long moments for Poe's breathing to stutter back to normal. Kes kept his voice calm and soothing, murmuring in Poe's mother tongue until his son was able to take a deep shuddering breath and look up at him.

"Lo sie--"

"Don't even think about apologizing, Poe Dameron, or I will come there and smack you myself." It won a wet chu--well, no that was a giggle, from the younger man, and Kes had to smile. "Poe, buddy, if you need to come home--"

"I can't dad." Despite the tears still all too present on his, Poe's tone was firm. "I...Well, I can't say what, but something big is going to happen. And I have to be here. I can't leave the Resistance." His smile was a little firmer this time. "Besides, that would defeat the purpose, right?"

"You've got so much of your mother in you." It came out a quiet murmur, but proud regardless. "In all seriousness, Poe, no more of these phone calls. Your old dad is getting older-- this ticker can't handle those kinds of surprises."

"You will outlive all of us, Kes Dameron." Leia's voice- and form- came from behind Poe, and all three of them had to laugh before the General's tone turned regretful. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but we've got news and I need Poe."

And Kes wanted to argue that his son needed rest but 1) Poe was 'a grown ass man', as he liked to say, and 2) Kes himself remembered the long rough days that sometimes had to happen for victory to occur. And so he only nodded, looking at Poe once more and trying to fill his mind for how long it might be until he saw him again.

"Yes m'am. Stay safe, blood of my blood." And Kes waited until he knew the transmission was about to be cut before adding, "And get me some grandchildren!"

His last sight was of Poe's flaming cheeks, and the sight was enough to keep Kes smiling for the rest of the day.


End file.
